It was my birthday a few days ago. sigh.
Im fortunate actually to have a birthday in the middle of the year - it really gives me a chance to reflect on the first half of the year,
I haven’t been posting much, I haven’t really been around. My little pea pod of a family hit a bit of a speed bump that was unexpected and we didn't see coming. Upon reflection: on the grand scheme of things it is a small bump but incredibly stressful and we are still mopping up. This speed bump bumped all our hard work and goals back about 12 to 18 months - which is incredibly frustrating and stressful when we had our fingertips on what we were trying to achieve.
So I climbed into my shell like a true Cancerian and knuckled down and sorted stuff out.
I do that sometimes,
I crawl into my shell and then when Im ready to come out I'm just a little bit more awesome. Thats indeed why Im so fabulous! Lol!
Ive been a stay at home mum for 3.5 years. I’m still not really keen with the term ‘stay at home mum’ - it seems to suggest that mums that work don’t ever get a chance to be at home with their kids and the mum who doesn't return to her job doesn't do any work -Neither of which are true.
But I’m yet to find a better term that suits my situation.
But I digress. Choosing to stay at home and not return to work was a decision that The Husbeast and I made together. We decided that this is what works best for our family. I was excited. I had visions of kicking Martha Stewarts ass and becoming an angelic domestic goddess with all the prowess of Nigella and all the thriftiness of the family circle.
But none of that happened.
In fact If I was my employer I would have fired myself a long time ago.
“Its hard with Kids” Thats what people day
“Don't be so hard on yourself” They say that too.
“Enjoy your time with the kids - The dishes will be there later.” Also another humdinger.
But I don’t want to leave the dishes overnight,
I like waking up with a clean kitchen it helps my morning zen. And I don’t have a lot of zen in the morning - I’m horrible in the morning. A morning person I am not. Which really sucks when you have kids! The kids don’t care if you're a morning person. They just know its breakfast time.
It is hard with kids. But that doesn't make it impossible and that doesn’t mean I should throw my hands up and toss my Nigella dreams out the door.
It’s my friends job to cut me some slack but If I’m not living to my own expectations how can I expect my children to??
I just feel like I haven't been living to my full domestic goddess potential. And i didn't feel like positing - I didn't want to talk the talk if I wasn't rocking the walk.
When my environment is clean and organised I feel calm and a sense of accomplishment,
so why the lack of goddess mojo
The answer is.
I don’t know,
I’m not sure.
But I’m doing a few things about it.
(If my life was a movie - cue the cheesy montage of me training, getting stronger/smarter/awesomer - all to a motivational music track. Eye of the tiger anyone?)
I’m moving and exercising. I started a netball team, I bought a bike trailer for the kiddies and I’m joining a bike riding club. I also bought a yoga dvd and although I find it very very hard to get out of bed before the kids to do it - its on the to do list.
I’ve got housework schedules, lists routines and tricks - I’m getting much more organised.
Im in the early processes of starting a bit of ladies club - a sorority to go out with! Its easy to become isolated when you have little kids and its tricky to go out on the town and have a boogie and a laugh so this club is aimed at exactly achieving that.
I’m taking more pride in the way that I look. Its the old chestnut of when you look good you feel good. Some days thats just walking out the door with out Weetbix smeared jeans on, or a bit of lippy, a fun scarf - small changes - big attitude lifters!
And I’ve got this Blog. To document my journey to Goddessness.
And I’ve got some fun projects to share with y’all in some upcoming posts and well as regular mushy pea stuff!
Watch out Nigella! Mushypeas is coming through
ps. Have you ever felt you weren't living to your best? how did you climb out of your mojo sucking hole? Do you use a cheesy movie montage?