12 February 2015

Mum vs Mum

Welcome Peabodies, I'm getting a bit deep with y'all today.

So you’ve decided not to return to work and be a "Stay at home Mum".
Congratulations Mama. 
Good for you. 
You've made a decision that works best for you and your family.

So you've decided to go back to work full time and place your kids in care. 
Congratulations Mama. 
Good for you. 
You've made a decision that works best for you and your family.

So you've decided to work part time and do a mix of daycare and home care. 
Congratulations Mama. 
Good for you. 
You've made a decision that works best for you and your family.

Ugh. Who cares? Boring isn't it?
I mean, really? 
Do you really care what other mothers have decided to do? 
Is it really that much of a big deal?

Don't get me wrong - I am interested in other mothers and their stories, their choices and how they came to a decision like that - only for my own knowledge and the potential to steal good ideas and mum hacks. But I don't care enough to judge - or think about it later.
Does anyone?

Probably not.

So if the above information is really boring, and nobody really cares, why is the media pushing for stigmas that just don’t exist? OK they do exist but only because they have told us so, and we have convinced ourselves that everyone else is thinking about it. 
When really we aren’t.

Why isn't this positive message about women making the right choice for their family pushed in the media? Because its boring. 
And boring doesn't generate clicks, or sell papers.

I do get raised eyebrows at times when I say I’m a stay at home mum. 
I do get some judgements and assumptions made about me that are rarely true or accurate 
(no I don’t have loads of money, no I don’t sit in a day spa all day and no my house is not perfectly clean). 
But mostly other mums just don't care, they have their own sleep deprived problems to sort out.

I bet Mums who go back to work get a few looks and raised eyebrows too - “oh your kids are in day care FULLTIME?” 

I bet Dads who work part time get a few comments also - “Do you wear your apron out and about or only at home?”

The truth is people who judge like that - will judge anyway. The clothes you’re wearing, the car you’re driving, where you USED to work, where you work now.
Sure those Mums are out there. Those Dads are out there. Those people are out there. Some people are judgemental and thats life.

But mostly no one cares.

I do care about other mums - as a whole person, and they care about me as a person and we are interested in the welfare of each others kids sure, and we are generally interested in each others lives and all that blah blah blah -
 but theres no judge-fest, bitch sesh, school gate gang situation going on.

Sure, some school gates can be nasty. Some school communities might be this way and if you've experienced this, I feel for you, it’s nasty and juvenile and all round a bit rubbish. 

Come send your kid to my school and we can not care about each other in perfect harmony!
This is me. Not caring.

When will the current affairs, talkback radio shows, online magazines and other media outlets stop pushing this stupid mum vs mum thing?

We all have a little judgment inside us. We are all human. 
For example: Do I think spending $1500 on your pram was a good financial investment? 
Mmmmmm not so much.
Would I have spent that much money on a pram? No.
Could I spend your $1500 more wisely? You bet!

But why should you care what I think?
You shouldn’t. 
It’s your pram. Your money, so as along as you don’t ram the back of my heels with said pram I really couldn't care.

Heartless arent I?
I’ve got my own sleep deprived problems going on. #sorrynotsorry

Judgement occurs whether you’re a parent or not.
Judgement occurs whether you’re a human or not.
Judgement comes in all forms and at some time or another we all judge others and are judged ourselves. 
It’s not an exclusive mum club thing.

At one end I feel like the grown ups are pushing the children of this generation to love, respect and crate equality for all, but at the other end glorifying stigmas (that just don’t have a big enough following to get off the ground.) to sell papers and get click rates up.

But someones should tell them no one cares.
Oh wait…….. I can tell them!


So lets just get on with it and not care about each other.

Congratulations Mamas. You’re doing a good job.

Peas out


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